so i've been thinking that i'm due for a move. so i'm out! skinnypitch and that foolish name is so 2000 and late! i think i just feel like making a no-hassle move in my life right now.
I'm off to bcauseyes.wordpress.com, looking to their bells and whistle of a brighter day. don't be a stranger!
peace!
Apr 23, 2009
Apr 20, 2009
welcomed happenstance!!!
a couple weeks ago Jael the Sleepy /Stud-ious, Eri the Grand and Jamila the Navigator set out on a little trip to Carlsbad State beach about 80 miles east from where we live. two hours later we ended up about an hour from the arizona state boarder! I mean, how can you not love it? its the grand because some greater adventure always comes out of the fun we've already planned!
i believe Jae, in the front passenger seat, was in and out of consciousness and conversation. i was... in my own world i guess cuz i could barely hear the convos in the land before me, aka the front.
Eri always the cautious and attentive driver, proceeded as necessary from 10W to 215S to 60? ... and where ever else...
one hour later she realized that we had been on 10E She stopped at the nearest exit to figure out how this could have happened.
with no one to really help navigate, though i am usually the said navigator, we drove a good 50 to 70 miles out of our way. something had gone funky with the 215/10/60 junction and we found ourselves east of cathedral city!!! that is ont he right side of this map and we wanted to be towards the middle left part of the map on the ocean.
thanks to our cautious and always prepared driver Eri, we used our varying levels of pathfinder skills to map our way back towards carlsbad. This experience in itself was hilarious, being able to say we used our "tracking" skills was awesome whether trumped-up or not. we reveled in it along with the new sights we would see on the road back to continued uncertainty, we took a grip of little state routes/roads back to a familiar route 15S This time we were at least paying much more attention.
I began thinking of how much better things turned though we may not have planned it so. we all enjoyed the beautiful open lands and alternating rolling hills. Jael got some very well-needed relaxation away from home, Eri got a therapeutic drive along with good convos, and I was reminded of yet another way my God is dealing with me on a daily basis... according to his plans not mine.
my camera died early on but here are some pics of what the day entailed.
√ lots of driving and singing
√ beautiful landscapes
√ and an awesome sunset
Apr 17, 2009
because yes!
i've always wanted a shopping kart, for what exactly i am far from sure. but it's just something you should have for the following reasons:
• laundry, as my dear cuzzo has shown!!!
• to kart around your friend with the bum leg.
• to accommodate everyone's stuff at the amusement parks.
• to...dunno i reiterate the obvious. because yes!!!
doesn't it just seems like a good backup in any situation?
the end.
Apr 4, 2009
clear as water
i've developed a growing obsession with monarchy. whether it's portrayed in a tv series like "kings" on nbc or "the tudors" on showtime (yes, i openly to admit to my tv-addiction), biblically in the OT and NT, through historic fiction or world history, i love it! the monarchs vary in what they excelled at or what they contributed to life as we know it but the common thread is that they lived solely for the advancement of their kingdom! and if a loved one had to be sacrificed in order for the land to prosper, sobeit. also, there is almost always a direct link to the monarch and god's role in their rule over the kingdom and/or their role as god in the kingdom, if that makes any sense.
anyway, it's just grand how God talks to us where ever we are and makes himself known even in our silly habits/obsessions. this time my habit led me to two very complex truths that are becoming as clear as water. but in the terms of gradual clarity....for example, in my house the water is a little, no extremely cloudy... at first. because it's crazy hard water it has to settle. once it does it's as water should be. this fact is... God loves me... more than i may ever know or possibly understand. that alone could keep me going for hours some days, but onward!
the other is that, all i may face in this life is not always going to be about me but for the advancement of his kingdom. as his subject i may be sacrificed here and there for the benefit of another or for several but as long as His kingdom is shown supreme, all is well.
anyway, it's just grand how God talks to us where ever we are and makes himself known even in our silly habits/obsessions. this time my habit led me to two very complex truths that are becoming as clear as water. but in the terms of gradual clarity....for example, in my house the water is a little, no extremely cloudy... at first. because it's crazy hard water it has to settle. once it does it's as water should be. this fact is... God loves me... more than i may ever know or possibly understand. that alone could keep me going for hours some days, but onward!
the other is that, all i may face in this life is not always going to be about me but for the advancement of his kingdom. as his subject i may be sacrificed here and there for the benefit of another or for several but as long as His kingdom is shown supreme, all is well.
Mar 20, 2009
"mr. man"
i sometimes wish i could be a apart of the international Chick-nuggets addiction but i try to shy away from places that enable and basically promote chubby ways. Oddly enough, this morning i found myself in the lot of McD's in need of something quick and easy...so i thought.
join me as i revisit a somewhat enlightening morning. try to imagine one of the dirtiest men you've ever encountered. have you got him? that image of him in your head? now add about a year's worth of grime and matted, stringy, dusty hair, as if he's been working the mine shafts of the 19th century. add some grayish matter under his nails and work it into the cracks of his aging skin. now, place him on a bench outside your nearest McD's during the wee hours of SoCal's winterish morning chill. here is the when ans where of how i met "mr. man". he looked so...broken, overwhelmed and extremely lonely.
with all the cars in the drive-thru and the line-a-bustlin' inside, i wondered how many people passed him by. ignored him as if he didn't exist looking at their shoes or the door handle or anywhere to put his sad sight out of mind. i wondered if i might do the same and then wondered when his last meal might have been.
i did the sheepish greeting i rarely deliver and asked if he had eaten anything. offered some cash but he said he "was too dirty" and they wouldn't let him in. i thought that was bull and the always useful "i'll make them let him in" but i didn't wanna be extra so i just asked him what he wanted. his request was simple, some lemonade and a sausage biscuit please. i got him the meal and added a what ever cash i had in the bag and kinda waited for an opportunity if he wanted to say anything. i didn't know what else i should or could do. so i told God, "lemme know if i can help any other way??" but the man just said, "thank you," and as i turned to go back inside to get him so napkins or catchup of something." mr. man" was gone. straight peaced. like poof, for real.
he was bare-foot with boots in tow and the breakfast bag in hand, but just disappeared. there wasn't really a corner to stealthily duck behind so i thought it so strange and just figured i really couldn't have done anything else. that was all he needed. I was glad i could help. i later saw him down the road crossing the street just as i had last seen him.
God is...God. just when i was feeling extremely lonely wondering why others around me seem to have some semblance of order and joy in their lives i was reminded of what really matters. the basics. though i have my fleeting woes, things could be so much worse, especially now in our fading economy. I have the basics i have hopes of a brighter future. i have more than 50 percent of the world.
I have: friends,family, a stable-ish income but a family that looks out for me, I'm a proud owner of an insurance policy, a working car, and I belong to a God who has blessed me with all of it and so much more.
I may never sing songs in poppy fields nor ford the alps in glee but i have a cushy life compared to some. I also have hopes that this sappy state won't last forever. and i believe this will prove true in the near foreseeable future. most days i feel that this move was a huge mistake but i'm learning with every smoggy sunset that this part of my life is not about me and my comfort. it's about growing and being more involved in things outside myself. so for now i guess it's okay to be lonely and distant cause God can use me wherever i might be if i'm still willing. right?
join me as i revisit a somewhat enlightening morning. try to imagine one of the dirtiest men you've ever encountered. have you got him? that image of him in your head? now add about a year's worth of grime and matted, stringy, dusty hair, as if he's been working the mine shafts of the 19th century. add some grayish matter under his nails and work it into the cracks of his aging skin. now, place him on a bench outside your nearest McD's during the wee hours of SoCal's winterish morning chill. here is the when ans where of how i met "mr. man". he looked so...broken, overwhelmed and extremely lonely.
with all the cars in the drive-thru and the line-a-bustlin' inside, i wondered how many people passed him by. ignored him as if he didn't exist looking at their shoes or the door handle or anywhere to put his sad sight out of mind. i wondered if i might do the same and then wondered when his last meal might have been.
i did the sheepish greeting i rarely deliver and asked if he had eaten anything. offered some cash but he said he "was too dirty" and they wouldn't let him in. i thought that was bull and the always useful "i'll make them let him in" but i didn't wanna be extra so i just asked him what he wanted. his request was simple, some lemonade and a sausage biscuit please. i got him the meal and added a what ever cash i had in the bag and kinda waited for an opportunity if he wanted to say anything. i didn't know what else i should or could do. so i told God, "lemme know if i can help any other way??" but the man just said, "thank you," and as i turned to go back inside to get him so napkins or catchup of something." mr. man" was gone. straight peaced. like poof, for real.
he was bare-foot with boots in tow and the breakfast bag in hand, but just disappeared. there wasn't really a corner to stealthily duck behind so i thought it so strange and just figured i really couldn't have done anything else. that was all he needed. I was glad i could help. i later saw him down the road crossing the street just as i had last seen him.
God is...God. just when i was feeling extremely lonely wondering why others around me seem to have some semblance of order and joy in their lives i was reminded of what really matters. the basics. though i have my fleeting woes, things could be so much worse, especially now in our fading economy. I have the basics i have hopes of a brighter future. i have more than 50 percent of the world.
I have: friends,family, a stable-ish income but a family that looks out for me, I'm a proud owner of an insurance policy, a working car, and I belong to a God who has blessed me with all of it and so much more.
I may never sing songs in poppy fields nor ford the alps in glee but i have a cushy life compared to some. I also have hopes that this sappy state won't last forever. and i believe this will prove true in the near foreseeable future. most days i feel that this move was a huge mistake but i'm learning with every smoggy sunset that this part of my life is not about me and my comfort. it's about growing and being more involved in things outside myself. so for now i guess it's okay to be lonely and distant cause God can use me wherever i might be if i'm still willing. right?
Mar 17, 2009
the british are coming!
i was watching "kings" sunday night, the new NBC series with a biblically inspired story of the rise of King David. I only started about 5 minutes of it (3/4 of the way through) when i was again stung by the british invasion. at least three of the main characters of this show are brits or their cousins. I love the brits probably more than the next "yank" but it's wild!
i know no one cares but it's uncanny how many of today's most saught after tv's stars are british and aussie's.
check it.
kings: Ian Mcshane as "King Silas", "David" an aussi called
Christopher Egan ,
"jack" is romanian but british bred Sebastian Stan,
and "Samuel" is played by Eamonn Walker
er: (Neela), Parminder Kaur Nagra and
aussi David Lyons as "Dr. Simon Brenner"
life: Damian Lewis as Charlie Crews
chuck: Yvonne Strahovski as "Sara Walker"
the mentalist: Simon Baker as Patrick Jane and Owain Yeoman as Wayne Rigsby
dollhouse: main boss Adelle DeWitt as "Olivia Williams" and Aussie Dichen Lachman as "Sierra"
pushing daisies: Anna Louise Friel as "Charlotte"
house: Hugh Laurie as "House", and aussie Jesse Gordon Spence as "Dr. Robert Chase"
lost: too many.
Gossip Girl:
Ed Westwick as chuck
there are many more shows but i follow them less than the one i rarely surf through like lost and er.
i hope you have enjoyed yet another pointless entry.
i know no one cares but it's uncanny how many of today's most saught after tv's stars are british and aussie's.
check it.
kings: Ian Mcshane as "King Silas", "David" an aussi called
Christopher Egan ,
"jack" is romanian but british bred Sebastian Stan,
and "Samuel" is played by Eamonn Walker
er: (Neela), Parminder Kaur Nagra and
aussi David Lyons as "Dr. Simon Brenner"
life: Damian Lewis as Charlie Crews
chuck: Yvonne Strahovski as "Sara Walker"
the mentalist: Simon Baker as Patrick Jane and Owain Yeoman as Wayne Rigsby
dollhouse: main boss Adelle DeWitt as "Olivia Williams" and Aussie Dichen Lachman as "Sierra"
pushing daisies: Anna Louise Friel as "Charlotte"
house: Hugh Laurie as "House", and aussie Jesse Gordon Spence as "Dr. Robert Chase"
lost: too many.
Gossip Girl:
Ed Westwick as chuck
there are many more shows but i follow them less than the one i rarely surf through like lost and er.
i hope you have enjoyed yet another pointless entry.
Mar 13, 2009
gv earrings
okay it's about that time for me to just post random stuff.
here's what's up with my life.
last week some homies came through to play a concert in the LL area. this is about the same time i really wanted some fun ear wear. so i ended up doing some free advertising for their band. I made some clip-on earrings from button pins they gave me
eons ago.
i then bought more buttons to advertise one of the homies' new apparel lines called le grand cru.
I'll post those later when i figure them out.
here's what's up with my life.
last week some homies came through to play a concert in the LL area. this is about the same time i really wanted some fun ear wear. so i ended up doing some free advertising for their band. I made some clip-on earrings from button pins they gave me
eons ago.
i then bought more buttons to advertise one of the homies' new apparel lines called le grand cru.
I'll post those later when i figure them out.
Mar 5, 2009
people i'd like to meet
pros must outway the cons or nay!
laura hurwitz
she's flippin' brilliant!
eri and my constant, yet always shocking, love affair with the english language have aided in my voyeuristic addiction to life of this mother of 6, wife of one, and english teacher to many. her ever-evolving whit and incredibly wacky posts remind me of how awesome and frustrating teaching can really be.
I'm not quite sure of the cons, nor would i like to face them but.... if given the opportunity i think i would date her semi-famous/humorous son just to meet her and share her air.
Though I've never seen a recent pic of her i also believe her to be incredibly beautiful. I have however, seen a college pic and all 6 of her little ones. they are all quite fab... sooo, i'm thinking she and her hubby are also quite "pretty in da face".
ok. so, now that the pros are clear...
this is were the con could worm it's way in. (garrr) if my theory proves right, because they are so pretty they could also be unforgivablely stoosh or simply indifferent. dunno. but i've gotta find a con right.
mark twain
he was a clever one. i dunno know if i'm reaching here but his name alone was genius. i never learned this, which is me tooting my own horn here and/or ironically labeling myself as the off side of astute, but his name was just that, his second label his other identity.
he's also armed the world with stunning quips and winning ideology.
thus, enters the con...he was soo cool that he might simply think me a ninny of a negro and get more hung up on the fact that i could read (...this is often my fate in these time-travel dream sequence). still i could never deny that, as my girl Jy and the great Krazy Kat say, "that nigga is a winner! he really is."
he, like many of his time, spoke in circles and riddles which made him tré "ace". this guy would have made an excellent lawyer or a super confusing, yet, grand advisor.
"Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself."
zachary levi aka "chuck bartowski"
√:another jew
i'm unsure of his contribution to the world aside from being part of the great movement of unbelievably adorable nerds. it doesn't really matter though because the pros point towards him being my husband. i claimed him quite a while ago but therein lies the con of course. once finally together and after having produced the halle berry's and lenny kravitz' of the world(dream sequence again), he's probably be a chronic snorer and has wolf feet.
DAVE CHAPPELLE and tracey jordan yes... jordan.
in the words of eri the great. "I vote yes," on all counts.
but not at the same time, that would be overwhelming.
nick kroll
Pro:
he's hilarious
he's a jew
i'm cuter than him
his "mcdonalds worker"
con:
he might be high out of his mind and forget our wonderful encounter.
he might be unforgivably offensive thus resulting in my shanking his pits. cuz as a jew he is most likely unbelievably hairy and schweaty.
i love him to the point where i might hold his face or pinch cheeks if he spoke to me.
mccain's wife
pro:
to see if she's real and if her creepiness lives up to it's standard.
con:
could be as disappointing as a yale education when you're our ex (g.w.b.)
jim henson
too much to get into. but that man was tré genius.
upside: to pic the brain of a world reknown artist.
downside:
i may never let my let my kids enjoy the grand american toddler past-time of watching sesame street.
seeing amy poehler and will arnet interact with archie. their son.
upside: great advice to raise a funny kid.
downside:
they might as me to watch him.
bill hader
we'd have good times...till he realizes i'm only staring at his gaps. yes. as much i love him you could use his mouth as a bike rack.
carl meyers
this kid i adored in 4th and 5th grade.
upside: jewish
adorable
bright
adored me too
downside:
his parents were "recovered" racist...never quite got there.
he might be like me five 4yrs out of his 5 yr plan but going nowhere.
he could have developed his parents disease and no longer looks at brown girls.
quest crew
upside:
i want to learn moves
downside:
...but i might be a hopeless cause.
paternal grandad harold and his mom.
√: i could figure out how our fam got this way.
√: i see what gramma was like.
√: i could give pops some closer.
x: it could be a bit too much info. hmmm. family secrets and all. i think i have my fill.
maternal gramma's gramma.
√:i'd learn her name and story.
√:to find out what the hell israelis were doing in jamaica.
√: to find out what gramma was like as a child
√: to remember why i'm so blessed.
x: she might not be all that i ever hoped.
upon completion, i realize that this great list of "people i'd like to meet" , is not very diverse and that it could have been easily dummarized by putting... dudes and jews. hindsight, i tell you...
laura hurwitz
she's flippin' brilliant!
eri and my constant, yet always shocking, love affair with the english language have aided in my voyeuristic addiction to life of this mother of 6, wife of one, and english teacher to many. her ever-evolving whit and incredibly wacky posts remind me of how awesome and frustrating teaching can really be.
I'm not quite sure of the cons, nor would i like to face them but.... if given the opportunity i think i would date her semi-famous/humorous son just to meet her and share her air.
Though I've never seen a recent pic of her i also believe her to be incredibly beautiful. I have however, seen a college pic and all 6 of her little ones. they are all quite fab... sooo, i'm thinking she and her hubby are also quite "pretty in da face".
ok. so, now that the pros are clear...
this is were the con could worm it's way in. (garrr) if my theory proves right, because they are so pretty they could also be unforgivablely stoosh or simply indifferent. dunno. but i've gotta find a con right.
mark twain
he was a clever one. i dunno know if i'm reaching here but his name alone was genius. i never learned this, which is me tooting my own horn here and/or ironically labeling myself as the off side of astute, but his name was just that, his second label his other identity.
he's also armed the world with stunning quips and winning ideology.
thus, enters the con...he was soo cool that he might simply think me a ninny of a negro and get more hung up on the fact that i could read (...this is often my fate in these time-travel dream sequence). still i could never deny that, as my girl Jy and the great Krazy Kat say, "that nigga is a winner! he really is."
he, like many of his time, spoke in circles and riddles which made him tré "ace". this guy would have made an excellent lawyer or a super confusing, yet, grand advisor.
"Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself."
zachary levi aka "chuck bartowski"
√:another jew
i'm unsure of his contribution to the world aside from being part of the great movement of unbelievably adorable nerds. it doesn't really matter though because the pros point towards him being my husband. i claimed him quite a while ago but therein lies the con of course. once finally together and after having produced the halle berry's and lenny kravitz' of the world(dream sequence again), he's probably be a chronic snorer and has wolf feet.
DAVE CHAPPELLE and tracey jordan yes... jordan.
in the words of eri the great. "I vote yes," on all counts.
but not at the same time, that would be overwhelming.
nick kroll
Pro:
he's hilarious
he's a jew
i'm cuter than him
his "mcdonalds worker"
con:
he might be high out of his mind and forget our wonderful encounter.
he might be unforgivably offensive thus resulting in my shanking his pits. cuz as a jew he is most likely unbelievably hairy and schweaty.
i love him to the point where i might hold his face or pinch cheeks if he spoke to me.
mccain's wife
pro:
to see if she's real and if her creepiness lives up to it's standard.
con:
could be as disappointing as a yale education when you're our ex (g.w.b.)
jim henson
too much to get into. but that man was tré genius.
upside: to pic the brain of a world reknown artist.
downside:
i may never let my let my kids enjoy the grand american toddler past-time of watching sesame street.
seeing amy poehler and will arnet interact with archie. their son.
upside: great advice to raise a funny kid.
downside:
they might as me to watch him.
bill hader
we'd have good times...till he realizes i'm only staring at his gaps. yes. as much i love him you could use his mouth as a bike rack.
carl meyers
this kid i adored in 4th and 5th grade.
upside: jewish
adorable
bright
adored me too
downside:
his parents were "recovered" racist...never quite got there.
he might be like me five 4yrs out of his 5 yr plan but going nowhere.
he could have developed his parents disease and no longer looks at brown girls.
quest crew
upside:
i want to learn moves
downside:
...but i might be a hopeless cause.
paternal grandad harold and his mom.
√: i could figure out how our fam got this way.
√: i see what gramma was like.
√: i could give pops some closer.
x: it could be a bit too much info. hmmm. family secrets and all. i think i have my fill.
maternal gramma's gramma.
√:i'd learn her name and story.
√:to find out what the hell israelis were doing in jamaica.
√: to find out what gramma was like as a child
√: to remember why i'm so blessed.
x: she might not be all that i ever hoped.
upon completion, i realize that this great list of "people i'd like to meet" , is not very diverse and that it could have been easily dummarized by putting... dudes and jews. hindsight, i tell you...
Feb 2, 2009
obsession
they say, who ever the usual they may be, that men think of sex ever 6-9 seconds. well, my loop involves god/weight. would one call that obsessive? these two things have plagued my mind for as long as i can remember. really, I have always obsessed but never dealt with or quite gotten through or over them. i know it's strange but this is constantly in the forefront/ back of my mind. seriously, sorry i keep repeating myself but, it's like splayed in a giant undulating quilt that's like worked into every functioning wrinkle of my mind. and unfortunately, fun and friends and family are worked in with ever odd stitch of this quilt of obsession. and to that i say... poop.
I have quite a few friends that say they too often think on such things, but not on such an unbalanced scale. recently some of them have said that this time it feels different like things will change for good. like they'll make permanent headway and i'm happy for them, i am. but as much as i would love to ride the coat tails of the hopes/motivation conjured with the new year, i just can't bare to be disappointed yet again. it's like there's part of me that feels like it is going to work for them, really work this time. but that i'm somehow going to be the last chubby kid on the beach frying in hell, and more miserable than ever. and i can't really do too much about it. and all these same pessemistic thoughts race through my head evertime they bring up how far they've some or how well they're doing. but i want to hear the success cuz maybe, just maybe, i'll find some motivation from them. and i again i think...poooooooop!
something else i randomly think about is whether i will die alone as an old woman, in a shoe of a bedsit in some shabby part of town(where ever that may be). though when voicing these concerns i simply state something simple like, "will i ever really date again, like someone of substance???"
the advice to the more sanely stated version of this thought is..." don't worry it will happen when you least expect it", "when you stop looking things will just start happening" or "he'll just show up". I am quickly reminded of my mother's mantra "if you fail to plan you plan to fail" and then i end up in the same perplexed state as before. but at least those thoughts are fleeting, occassional, passing. and one would simply want to apply that to the god/weight thing too right??...wrong. cuz it all comes back to that planning shit all over again doesn't it. i'm telling you, motivation is a gift!! seriously. that's something i guess i'll be praying for. really. i'd like it in heaping loads. like those mysterious crates you see boats shipping in and out of port.
after all of this one might think me drenched in sorrow and disenchantment, which would normally be true, but as i am evaluating my thoughts, my dad calls, and being the slightly off co-creator that he is, he leaves me with the thought that "life's a bitch and then you die."
this is why i love him. so straight forward so a-matter-of-fact. he's like "what are you gonna do but get up off you ass and just do something?! right?" so i guess i'm off to smack this bitch we call life by doing something!!!
I have quite a few friends that say they too often think on such things, but not on such an unbalanced scale. recently some of them have said that this time it feels different like things will change for good. like they'll make permanent headway and i'm happy for them, i am. but as much as i would love to ride the coat tails of the hopes/motivation conjured with the new year, i just can't bare to be disappointed yet again. it's like there's part of me that feels like it is going to work for them, really work this time. but that i'm somehow going to be the last chubby kid on the beach frying in hell, and more miserable than ever. and i can't really do too much about it. and all these same pessemistic thoughts race through my head evertime they bring up how far they've some or how well they're doing. but i want to hear the success cuz maybe, just maybe, i'll find some motivation from them. and i again i think...poooooooop!
something else i randomly think about is whether i will die alone as an old woman, in a shoe of a bedsit in some shabby part of town(where ever that may be). though when voicing these concerns i simply state something simple like, "will i ever really date again, like someone of substance???"
the advice to the more sanely stated version of this thought is..." don't worry it will happen when you least expect it", "when you stop looking things will just start happening" or "he'll just show up". I am quickly reminded of my mother's mantra "if you fail to plan you plan to fail" and then i end up in the same perplexed state as before. but at least those thoughts are fleeting, occassional, passing. and one would simply want to apply that to the god/weight thing too right??...wrong. cuz it all comes back to that planning shit all over again doesn't it. i'm telling you, motivation is a gift!! seriously. that's something i guess i'll be praying for. really. i'd like it in heaping loads. like those mysterious crates you see boats shipping in and out of port.
after all of this one might think me drenched in sorrow and disenchantment, which would normally be true, but as i am evaluating my thoughts, my dad calls, and being the slightly off co-creator that he is, he leaves me with the thought that "life's a bitch and then you die."
this is why i love him. so straight forward so a-matter-of-fact. he's like "what are you gonna do but get up off you ass and just do something?! right?" so i guess i'm off to smack this bitch we call life by doing something!!!
Jan 28, 2009
gorgeously clever
i got this from myko's page. it sounds like aaron beaumont but it's not. he said he got it from his friend a.b. i heard it and thought it was him til i saw it say Her Morning Elegance/oren lavie.
it's simply beautiful.
enjoy.
Jan 16, 2009
one convoluted step at a time
today (for 90 minutes) was the pits. I realize that every minute of everyday is like that for some...but i'm not them. So to continue, i repeat that today was the pits! i don't remember any other part of the day but those 90 minutes and so i found myself and my two fully-functioning feet, following one after the other for 45 glorious minutes in reflection.
MIdway through my walk I began to think that," though this road to becoming whoever the hell it is i'm supposed to be, often resembles fingernails on a chalkboard, i must be very nearly there...but not like the second coming.right?"
as is customary and natural as breathing my mind jumped to the realization that i am seeded in the practice of very rarely lending myself to the company of the extremely or freakishly fit. i think its due to the fact that it makes me look unforgivabley fat ad lazy. thus, limited access saves me from being on the receiving-end of unfriendly gazes upon refusing invitations for 30 mile (one way) bike rides or 3 day survival hikes to "no man's land". I respect them for being such eager athletes! I also respect my right to decline said invitations without judgment. we must walk before we run or starve in the desert, correct?
I also found that nor do i chill with the slothfully unhealthy, as they have a tendency to snare at me for caring about what i put into my body, like not drinking things comparable to toilet bowl cleaner. Here is where i was reminded that security is a warm blanket... of mediocrity.
in general i do not consider myself to be a run-of-the-mill sort of woman. i excel in more than a few areas but in this aspect of my life i am pleased to be average and comfortable with the happy medium. my methods of exercise are just that, and mine. though to some walking at least 45 minutes a day and eating natural foods as opposed to diet may be just shy of staving off diabetes and warding off bed soars, again i am pleased to, not run or bike or climb over the great wall of china, but walk. here is where, in my mind the two thoughts came together. if you you're having trouble following my train of thought, allow me to usher you in the ways of my very convoluted mind.
I am decidedly content with my new super power of living my own damn life! (developing this power is another blog, but one life-altering step at a time.) Though it may suck from time to time this life is still mine. i feel like i've almost reached a point in my life where i've wanted to revisit for quite some time. the few years when i was unapologetically ME. and now i have fully settled into the belief that i am very nearly there...being the person i'm supposed to be. maybe at this point, I'm supposed to be comfortable with who I am and the choices that I make. Later on in life i may be destined to remain terminally and financially unstable for others to see how God can work through me though i may not have much... but for now maybe i'm just meant to be content with being the favorite daughter of colline and owen silvera, and not holding myself up to other people's standards. and as i said many times, more to convince myself, i believe that i am very nearly there.
MIdway through my walk I began to think that," though this road to becoming whoever the hell it is i'm supposed to be, often resembles fingernails on a chalkboard, i must be very nearly there...but not like the second coming.right?"
as is customary and natural as breathing my mind jumped to the realization that i am seeded in the practice of very rarely lending myself to the company of the extremely or freakishly fit. i think its due to the fact that it makes me look unforgivabley fat ad lazy. thus, limited access saves me from being on the receiving-end of unfriendly gazes upon refusing invitations for 30 mile (one way) bike rides or 3 day survival hikes to "no man's land". I respect them for being such eager athletes! I also respect my right to decline said invitations without judgment. we must walk before we run or starve in the desert, correct?
I also found that nor do i chill with the slothfully unhealthy, as they have a tendency to snare at me for caring about what i put into my body, like not drinking things comparable to toilet bowl cleaner. Here is where i was reminded that security is a warm blanket... of mediocrity.
in general i do not consider myself to be a run-of-the-mill sort of woman. i excel in more than a few areas but in this aspect of my life i am pleased to be average and comfortable with the happy medium. my methods of exercise are just that, and mine. though to some walking at least 45 minutes a day and eating natural foods as opposed to diet may be just shy of staving off diabetes and warding off bed soars, again i am pleased to, not run or bike or climb over the great wall of china, but walk. here is where, in my mind the two thoughts came together. if you you're having trouble following my train of thought, allow me to usher you in the ways of my very convoluted mind.
I am decidedly content with my new super power of living my own damn life! (developing this power is another blog, but one life-altering step at a time.) Though it may suck from time to time this life is still mine. i feel like i've almost reached a point in my life where i've wanted to revisit for quite some time. the few years when i was unapologetically ME. and now i have fully settled into the belief that i am very nearly there...being the person i'm supposed to be. maybe at this point, I'm supposed to be comfortable with who I am and the choices that I make. Later on in life i may be destined to remain terminally and financially unstable for others to see how God can work through me though i may not have much... but for now maybe i'm just meant to be content with being the favorite daughter of colline and owen silvera, and not holding myself up to other people's standards. and as i said many times, more to convince myself, i believe that i am very nearly there.
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